Saturday, September 20, 2008

Run Lola Run!

Ok, not really, substitute Elizabeth into that title. This is a brief dip into reality. I say that because the whole Disney kick I'm on takes me happily into fantasy for a bit and I could stay there for quite a while. But time is not exactly standing still. So.

Today we had a belated birthday event for Elizabeth with some of our friends and their children. Nothing fancy, we just met at a local indoor kids playground for a while and then went to Coldstone Creamery for dessert and the happy birthday song. So, since I don't like to post pictures of my friend's children (no matter how cute they are) without their permission, and since its almost midnight and I don't think they would appreciate a call (not being the night owl I am these days), I'm just going to share my favorite picture from today:

My little camera does not usually get action shots that aren't just a mess of blur, so I was excited by that. And even though my darling's facial expression isn't the prettiest I've ever seen it, I think you can sort of get the idea from it of just how excited/overtired/buzzed on sugar she was as she sprinted in circles around Coldstone with her daddy's smoothie in tow. It was a good day.

Although this morning not so much. David and I participated in this community yard sale thing that happens once a month. It was our first time to do it, but we'll go back. It was just so dang hot that at one point I couldn't tell if I was sweating or crying. I couldn't see at all. Ick. So, you want to know what we sold among other things? Elizabeth's crib, the girl's swing, jump-a-roo, bouncy seat, exersaucer, baby bathtub and play gym. Yep, all the big baby stuff except for Lilli's crib and high chair. And it was a bit painful for me. Ok, more than a bit.

We are most likely "two and through" as the saying goes, unless we have another surprise, in which case we would deal. Intellectually I am on board with that. We have a three bedroom house on the smaller side and it is very important to me that the girls not have to share a room. We can handle living expenses and college for two kids, but I don't know if we can do three. Not unless we start playing the lotto anyway. Oh right, and then we'd have to win. We also have two Toyota Corollas, and you just can't fit three car seats in the backseat of one of those. So we'd have to caravan everywhere (and in today's economy, forget it!), or buy a new car. The thought of going from no car payments to a possibly hefty one is daunting. Also, my dad watches the girls, but he's getting older, and if I were to get pregnant tomorrow, he would be on the 80 side of 70 before the youngest was in school. Two is hectic enough for him (although in his defense he does extremely well with them 90% of the time) and I don't want to exhaust him to the point where we start having health issues to deal with. I neeeeeeed him.

So, like I said, I know all the reasons we are done, but emotionally I'm not quite there. We had 4 years of us time (celebrated that anniversary right before Elizabeth was born) before we got around to having a baby. Then, no sooner did that baby turn one, then I got pregnant again unexpectedly. Now here we are a year after that one, and my biological clock (or something) is telling me to get on the job again. So emotionally I can't quite accept that I will probably never be pregnant again. Because I loved being pregnant. Not so much delivery (I'll tell you those stories another time. And don't worry, I'll post warnings that you might not want to eat before reading Lilli's). Not at all delivery in fact. Unless they are willing to guarantee me an epidural, perhaps hooking me up a couple weeks before my due date. But I managed to let go of the big ticket items, mainly because David promised me that if we get a surprise I can buy all new stuff. Muhahahaha! But anyway, I can't let go of the majority of the baby clothes. Especially not the baby dresses. Because you know, another baby might wear them. Maybe.

So at what point do you get rid of most of those? How do you know that you really are done having babies? Short of permanent solutions that is, I'm not into that. Do you keep expecting to maybe be pregnant again up until your youngest is in school? I could use some advice on this issue. Either in comments or e-mail. If you've got some, or some words of comfort, hit me! After this morning I need it. The sweat/tears thing? I have a suspicion it was both.

6 comments: said...

I'm sorry, this comment will be of no help to you. I am aching for another baby. Soon, too. I'm starting to sigh (loudly) when I see a newborn or hold one. I've got all of Sprite's old stuff ready to go! How great is it that your dad is watching your kids! Also, what indoor playground did you go to? I'm looking for new places to bring Sprite. Email me!

Rachel said...

Will do! And yes, I generally do pretty well, but I can't look at a live baby for very long. Hmmm. Let me rephrase that since I certainly don't want to look at a non-alive one. I'm fine looking at pictures, I just admire without wanting to run away with the baby. It's the wiggling newborns that mess with me.

Hannah Johnson said...

I can so sympathize with this one. I might sound crazy *being the mother of 5 already* but I really would love to have another baby or two. I would obviously need to get married first and seeing as I haven't been on a single date in over a year....I'm not seeing that one happen anytime soon.

My youngest is 4 1/2 and all five of my kids are almost 18 mo apart exactly *not planned that way* so lets say I was to get married in the next year..Emily would be 5 and I would like at least one year of no baby with my hubby so that puts her at 6 and in 1st grade. Then by the time I get prego and have the kids she's in 2nd grade-quite the age gap! I don't want a new baby to grow up essentially an only child so in 18 mo or so I would like to have popped out another one. All of that math of course means that I'm having kids well into my early to mid thirties.

I LOVED being pregnant. LOVED IT! I'm with you, I just can't accept not ever being pregnant again. However, during my divorce I did give ALL my baby things away. The only things I kept were monitors *cause I still use them on occasion* and my $300 electric breast pump-several family members have borrowed it so I feel justified in keeping that ;)

Sorry, I wasn't of much help either. As far as the clothes go, I'd say keep the SUPER cute can't bare to give away stuff and then sell/give away the rest. Besides...what if it's a boy? :)

Rachel said...

Good grief, I didn't even think about the monitors or the breast pump. I'm definitely not ready to give up either of those. I have the Medela pump and it was fantastic. I felt the champion producer in the herd. Just call me Bessy and hook me up with a blue ribbon.
If I could figure out how to pack the kids in and convince my hubby that its the way to go I would. Do you mind if I ask what sleeping arrangements you have? The boys together and the girls together? Bunk beds?
Oh, and I've tried to do that with the clothes, but the dang digital camera gets in my way there too. I've pretty much taken a picture of the girls in every dress or cutesie outfit they've every owned and the photos stick in my mind. So I look through the 9 month bucket for example and I see the exact memory of one of both of the girls wearing the dress I'm looking at and its just another reason I give myself for keeping them. *sigh*

Misty said...

Yeah, so, I'm going to complain. I don't know if I'm going to be able to adopt a baby again. I know I'll adopt again but, will it be an infant? See where I'm going? Yeah, so, it's been super hard to get rid of stuff. Plus, if I adopt an infant, I have no earthly idea of if it will be big or small and I won't know until um, about 2 days before they are born if I even get to have them in my house. (sigh) Ok, I'm done venting.

Rachel said...

Ohhh, that's tricky Misty! I was two and a half months when my parents were able to pick me up, and I know my mom was sad because I was too big for the tiny outfit she had bought. It turned out ok though because I put it on Elizabeth when she was a week old and had her portrait done. Still though, I see the problem! You're little boy is exceptionally adorable by the way. Since your site won't let me comment, I'll just state that for the record here!